a chat with Oscar Myers Wilde
Meet Oscar Myers Wilde, dashing [dachshing?] dog about town, employed as resident greeter at Radiantly Healthy Drip Lounge, and darling member of the Lorin Carpenter family. We catch up with Oscar on a five minute break at work.
Q: I understand you are the lounge mascot and official greeter at Radiantly Healthy Drip Lounge. What is your favorite thing about going to work?
A: I take my job of greeting clients very seriously. I love what I do, and I especially love sitting with people who are a little nervous about getting an IV drip. It’s very rewarding giving people ALL of the emotional support.
Q: What a mitzvah! What will wake you from a deep sleep?
A: The squeaky sound from my favorite ball gets me every time. I will never sleep on a game of fetch. Fetch is life.
Q: Some would say pizza or chasing cats. How would you describe your perfect day?
A: Waking up to morning snuggles, breakfast and a morning walk, nap, beach walk with my dog friends, eat treats, nap, car ride, nap, play fetch, nap, dinner and evening walk, more fetch, bedtime.
Q: I don’t know how we get it all done! What can your people do that you wish you could do—and don’t say open the fridge.
A: Life would be pretty amazing if I could rub my own belly.
Q: I can imagine other dogs nodding their heads in agreement. Do you have a preferred outfit or do you like to go au naturel?
A: I’m very comfortable in my own fur but I like a fashion moment, too. I do love a chunky sweater on a brisk winter day.
Q: You can pull off a chunky sweater. It isn’t for every body type. Like our wire-haired dachshund friends—too chesty. What’s your pet peeve?
A: I’m a pretty happy dog the majority of the time… but it is pretty annoying when a new dog or human does not stop to say hi to me. I’m always up for meeting a new best friend.
Q: There’s a bad word for that. Is there anything you are afraid of?
A: To be honest, the things that bother most dogs don’t bother me at all… I can sleep through thunder and fireworks, I love going to the groomer and the vet, and car rides are my absolute favorite. I think the only fear I have is FOMO… Fear Of Missing Out. You don’t have to miss out though—you can follow me on Instagram @oscar_myers_wilde.
Thanks for the chat, Oscar.
Homer—Guest interviewer.
